Anti-Piracy Organization Shuts Down Popular Website

Erin BarkleyFriday, November 23, 2007
This post is part of Push the Third Button Twice, a ~2 month adventure where I would write parody articles based on the news as it happened — in 15 minutes or less. The posts are credited to my a fictional "staff", but they're actually all me. I apologize in advance.

The International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) dealt a fatal blow to the operators of the domain ifpi.org on Friday, declaring it a “major victory against pirates worldwide” before discovering a technical glitch may have undermined the effort.

“The filthy pirates who prey on our members have been stopped in their tracks,” said IFPI spokesman Gunther Hosenwein at a press conference in London, Friday morning. “Once again, the right of law and the dedicated attention of IFPI’s staff have triumphed over… sorry, what? Our site? Ohhhhh shit.”

According to sources inside IFPI, there has been much confusion in the past few weeks after infamous piracy advocates The Pirate Bay took control of the ifpi.com domain, which is easily confused with IFPI’s ifpi.org domain. Staff members have repeatedly emailed confidential memos outside the organization by mistake, in one case accidentally sending a top-secret message to their nemesis, warning them not to make the mistake of emailing their nemesis top-secret messages.

“There was a slight misunderstanding that is being taken care of by our in-house counsel,” said a contrite Hosenwein later in the day. “Expect the IFPI website to be back up and running by Saturday, at www.ifpi… dot… which one is it again?”

But things do not appear to be moving as smoothly as expected. In a court filing made in London, IFPI general counsel Niles Harrington demanded an injunction barring the reinstatement of ifpi.org, citing “an ongoing investigation into the alleged illegal activities of the proprietors of said domain”.

The IFPI’s N. Harrington was quick to file a rebuttal, arguing that the IFPI had “breached the privacy rights” of his client, and threatened a counter-suit to be filed Monday.

“We will not sit idly by and let these scoundrels drag our names through the mud,” said Mr Harrington by phone late Friday. “By the time I’m done with them, the IFPI will own their entire operation, top to bottom; I promise you that.”

For their part, operators of the Pirate Bay were maintaining a hands-off approach.

“We haven’t done a thing in all this,” said Pirate Bay operator TiAMO. “I think it’s far more entertaining to watch them chase their own tails. I can’t wait to see what they think of next!”

While there has been no official word, sources inside IFPI have hinted that a planned SWAT raid on IFPI headquarters is set to go ahead Monday morning, with police having been given orders to shoot to kill. One unnamed contact was enthusiastic about the move, saying: “Those sneaky bastards will get what’s coming to them.”

Related links: Poor Anti-Pirates: E-mail About Leaked IFPI Email Gets Leaked [torrentspy.com] 

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