The Pig and the Box: Special Edition
Important note: It may not jump out at you anymore, but this post was done on April 1. Please don't send any more hate mail!
I'm excited to announce The Pig and the Box: Special Edition, coming soon to bookstores everywhere! Yes, Random House picked up the rights, and are coordinating with Warner Bros. to turn my little book into a feature film! Apparently Al Pacino is keen to play the pig. Shia LaBeouf as the crazy squirrel.
Anyway, there have been a few changes to the story. All great ideas, and they greatly improve the pacing etc. Let me give you a taste:
Pig was so upset he sat down and started to cry: "This magic box is nothing but trouble!"
"Oh, Pig!" said Duck, "don't feel bad! It's not your fault! It's OUR fault for not using the buckets according to the terms and conditions set forth in the End User License Agreements we signed upon receipt of the merchandise!"
"Yeah, WE'RE the bad ones!" agreed Bunny.
"I feel dirty," said Maurice.
Just then, MPAA CEO and all-around great guy Dan Glickman showed up!
"Hello consumers!" he said happily, "I've brought arrest warrants for you all!"
"Golly!" said Bunny, "for only $750 a violation, I can clear my conscience! Thanks, Mr Glickman!"
"Don't mention it, son!"
The book is now 95 pages, which includes a special tour of the slums of L.A., where the poor, abused former creative types of Hollywood go to die after their works are pirated. And there's a bit of a twist where the Crazy Squirrel infiltrates the Piratpartiet and assassinates its leaders... but it's still the same heartwarming story we all love!
Note: to anyone that's downloaded the previous version: I just want to say sorry about the SWAT teams that will be serving you warrants over the next few weeks. You know you deserve it, though.